Incharacter inbox:

[hottestrogue]

Comments

[Private]

[chillestrogue]

I just don't want you to be targeted when I'm not there.

Re: [Private]

[hottestrogue]

Nobody is going to target me, Len. They are all scared of me.

[Private] cw; homophobic slurs

[chillestrogue]

Are they still going to be scared when you show up back to town and word gets out that Heatwave is a fag-loving fairy?

[It sounds strange and uncomfortable to be using the same words that Len's dad used on him, but he has to press, just a little, to know if Mick's going to be able to reign in his temper and consider the situation without him around to strategize]

Re: [Private] cw; homophobic slurs

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick's eyes flare in anger. He knows exactly who used to use those words and that infuriates him more than the words themselves. It is not that they don't sting, they do, but Len sounding like his dad. His dad who is one of the reasons it took them thirty years and Len fucking dying to admit they actually love each other.

But he grits his teeth and looks away. ]

Then I'll remind them why they should be scared and show them that loving you has made me anything but weak.

[chillestrogue]

[It's difficult for those who might not know him, but Mick's been around Len long enough to know when he feels emotionally affected. Now is one of those times; he holds his breath, going a little still, pupils dilating. Finally he nods back, glancing down at his hands tapping against his knees]

Right. You're right.

Guess I'm stuck in the past in more ways than one.

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick knows Len well enough to know he is affected. But he isn't sure if it is the act of saying those words, Mick's response or if Mick failed some sort of test that caused it. He shakes his head and moves to get up and to go find Len. He hopes Len is in his room. He knocks on the door before he comes in. ]

Len?

[chillestrogue]

[Len doesn't move from his room when he sees Mick go to find him. Instead, he slithers off his chair and goes to sit by the window, crammed tight in on himself, watching the stars drift by.

He glances over when Mick walks in the room, head canted to one side]

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick takes a breath when he sees Len like that. He knows that look too. It means Len's lost in his thoughts, could be for hours. But at least he seems to notice Micking coming inside. He takes a moment to look around the room and then walks over, crouching himself down so that he is looking up at Len, not looming over him. And he reaches out to put a hand on his arm. Every movement is slow, obvious. ]

Len.

[chillestrogue]

[Mick's going to be okay. He has to keep telling himself that in his own head. He's going to be all right.

In one motion, Len pushes off the window and turns, cat-like, in mid step to fall into Mick and kiss him]

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick blinks in surprise. That wasn't what he expected at all, but he catches Len easily and kisses him back. For a few breaths that is all there is in the world, Len in his arms, kissing him. All that matters. Then he pulls back, licking his lips and looking at Len. ]

What's going on?

[chillestrogue]

Nothing.

[He looks shaken, and relieved, and scared all at once.]

Just wanted to kiss you.

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick gives Len a little smile. ]

You could have warned me.

[ Then he pulls Len against him. ]

What about you? You going to be ok with everyone knowing? With Lisa knowing?

[chillestrogue]

Could've. Didn't.

[He relaxes, leaning his head in against Mick's shoulder and neck]

Lisa's smarter than I am. She probably already knows.

[hottestrogue]

There is a difference between knowing and suspecting, Len. And what about the barge. Or the whole team Flash, or everyone in Iron Heights. You willing to live with them knowing?

[chillestrogue]

[He's silent for a moment or two, before murmuring, looking down at his hands]

Technically I wouldn't be the one living.

[hottestrogue]

You said you were working on some plan to come back once it was safe.

[ Mick reminds him gently. But he suspects that that was just a lie, something Len had told him to not worry, to get him to leave the Barge. He takes a breath. ]

You fine with them remembering you like that?

[ If Len wanted to die Mick was going to allow him to. No matter how much he wanted to fight that. ]

[chillestrogue]

I know.

[He exhales a little, stretching out his arms]

If what you're telling me is true - that I died saving you and whatever idiots we teamed up with - then yeah. I'm okay with that.

[hottestrogue]

Len. I betrayed you and tried to kill you and the rest of the team. I threatened to kill Lisa and make you watch. I worked for the guys that were hunting you. I was one of their attack dogs. I should be the one to die there to make up for what I did to you. Don't take my place.

[ One more attempt at making Len change his mind. ]

[chillestrogue]

You already made it up to me and more.

This..Barge thing. It was a gift. Gave us more time to figure out everything.

Don't spend the rest of your life feeling guilty about me dying. I died so you could live, Mick. Because I love you.

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick opens his mouth to answer, but no words come out. Just a broken little sound. One he had never made around Len before. His shoulders shake and he pulls Len into a tight hug, burying his face against Len's neck. For once he isn't gentle for Len's sake, instead clinging like his life depends on it. It takes him a few minutes to collect himself, wiping his eyes before he sits back up to meet Len's eyes. He had no idea how much he had needed to hear those words until he had heard them. ]

[chillestrogue]

[That sound that comes from Mick might be the worst thing Len's ever heard from his partner. He hugs him back just as hard, sitting on the ground with him, letting Mick cry himself out.

When Mick pulls back, he does too, eyes a little glassy but managing to keep it together.]

You're going to be okay.

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick nods. He opens his mouth to say something but instead just licks his lips. Then he leans in to kiss Len again before pulling back just enough to speak. ]

This your way of saying goodbye?

[ It sounds an awful lot like it and he wants to know how much time he has left with his partner. ]

[chillestrogue]

[He gives a little laugh that sounds like it got halfway stuck in his throat]

Is it that obvious?

Figure a few more weeks, maybe a month.

[hottestrogue]

[ Mick nods. ]
You wouldn't kiss me like that. Or be so worried about me being fine if it wasn't.

Does Summers know? Or Shiro?

[ He reaches up to let his fingers trail over Len's chin, not wanting to waste time now that it is confirmed. ]

[chillestrogue]

[He nods a little, in deference to Mick's knowing him so well]

About leaving, or about us?